Break-ups are tough. For many guys it can be difficult to talk about what we are feeling. Add in the stigmas around crying being a weakness and you have a recipe for disaster.
Break-ups. Man, where to even start. I am personally going through this right now. Recently I ended a 5-year relationship and even though it’s been over 6 months now, I still get hit with waves of emotions that can be tough to deal with.
Today was one of those days.
I couldn’t get her out of my head. Do I miss her still? Is there a fear of moving forward? Am I just being insecure and weak? Eventually the tears started flowing, I know it’s not helpful to keep it in, to run from it or busy myself. So I gave myself some time and the space to feel it, let it out. After making myself some cacao and I spent some time journaling (my favorite way to process emotions). Feeling and releasing emotions is part of the process, I understand that, and I have tools and support systems that help me navigate through this in a powerful way.
Then I started thinking, how many guys out there are going through difficult break-ups and divorces right now that don’t have tools and support? If you’re reading this right now, I assume you’re one of them. So welcome my brother and I honor you for taking some time to look into this. It’s a big step towards overcoming the grief and finding a new you.
Here’s a few things to keep in mind as you navigate this challenging time.
Remember, It’s OK
First of all, it’s ok. It’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to cry. It’s also ok to miss her. And it’s ok to have doubts. Most of all, it’s more than ok to give yourself a break from trying to keep it all together and just feel.
Nature Helps
Getting out in nature can calm the emotions and help you get more clarity on whats going on. Taking a walk or hike can help you clear your mind a little bit and see things from a different perspecitve. Spending time around a lake or river can help you process the emotions (emotions and water are energetically connected). Nature can help by connecting you with something bigger than yourself and what’s currently going on. Those trees have been there long before this situation and will be there long after, for instance.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel
What you are feeing and going through won’t last forever. Remember that as you allow yourself to feel. As you feel these things you are releasing them and you will feel lighter. Emotions are like waves, they come and go, they don’t stay forever. You will get through this and there is a bright promising future ahead of you.
New Friends and Connections can make life more enjoyable
Trying out a new hobby or joining a club can help you meet some new people and making new friends can bring some freshness to life. As a guy it’s difficult to make new guy friends and it can seem a bit awkward, however if you can get over that you’ll be surprised at what you find. There are lot’s of guys out there going through break ups and difficult times as well. They can bring new energy to your life and you might bring some to theirs as well. I’ve got a online group here. We have weekly calls and it’s a built in support system to natigate challenging times. Check it out, we’d be happy to have you join.
Support systems matter
You don’t have to go through this completely alone, some parts, yes, not all of it. Find some people you can reach out to if you are having a difficult time. It helps if the person can just hear you out and not try to fix the problem for you. It takes time to get to the other side and there is no fixing the situation. A mentor or coach is next level support. Getting a coach that understands and can help you through this tough time is the difference between getting stuck in grief and finding new confidence and strength.
If you are ready to find new purpose and direction now is the time. Break-ups and divorces can be catalysts for huge life change and you can either go to the next-level or you can fall. Which way you go will be up to you. If you want to step up set up a free discovery call with me and let’s talk.
